How on earth did I miss this. This hilarious video has been floating around YouTube for at least a year, and it deserves a nudge. So here you go.
Saturday, 31 March 2007
Hear Gay He-Man Sing!
Wednesday, 28 March 2007
Still Wiiless
Well I just spent a rather fruitless morning driving around looking to get my dirty hands on a Wii. I went to Best Buy, and no dice. Wal-Mart? Nada. Circuit City? Nope. Target? Hell no! You get the idea.
Ideally I'd like to purchase a Wii from Best Buy because Diane bought me a gift card from there for Christmas. However, it's starting to get to that stage where I'd buy it from anywhere that has it. Except for eBay because while I'm moderately desperate, I'm not stupid/desperate enough to pay a billion dollars more than the RRP. Piss off, eBay sharks.
Most of the dudes in the stores I spoke to said pretty much the same thing: "We haven't seen any Wiis for almost a month." I'm sure they're also sick of being asked, in much the same way I got sick of being asked for the bloody Secret, so I apologise for being one of Those customers. ;-)
What's interesting about the common answer I received from the retailers I visited is this little snippet from GameStop COO Dan DeMatteo:
"[T]his is just my opinion, but I think Nintendo intentionally dried up supply because they made their numbers for the year. The new year starts April 1, and I think we're going to see supply flowing."
Hm, it is possible that Nintendo are stockpiling their systems in readiness for the new fiscal year, although until April rolls around we won't know for sure whether DeMatteo is bang on the money, or if it's just a hunch of his.
There was a rumour that Super Mario Galaxy will be released in April, although many of the sites I've been to list it as coming out anywhere between January and December of 2007. Yeah, that kinda narrows it down somewhat....
Just like the little engine that could, I'm just gonna keep on trying to find it. Oh yes, I will find it.
Saturday, 17 March 2007
First Up Win a Great Start to World Cup
Sorry, cricket-related post.
With a first up win against England out of the way all we need to do now is make sure that we beat Canada and Kenya to progress to the second round.
The extra good news is that we came through the match without any injuries, so that certainly makes a change. Yep, no broken fingers, no busted toes and no torn hamstrings. Has to be some sort of record, eh?
[Linky] <<-- Scorecard goodness.
Friday, 16 March 2007
Got Change For $206 Million, Man?
Who says drug crime doesn't pay? Well, it does pay until police raid your Mexican mansion and find a shed load of money and a couple of Mercs parked out back. Oh, and not to mention equipment for making tablets, some guns and an illegal cable connection. There'll be no Telenovela marathons in the big house, boys.
Ay, caramba!
[Linky] <<-- Saw this on Yahoo!
Do You Have The Secret?
Oh, that bloody secret. For the past month the majority of questions from customers in the store have revolved around whether or not we have The Secret. The second most frequent question has been, "Do you know what The Secret is about?"
Yes, these people are so well programmed by Oprah to go out and buy something that they've forgotten to think about what they're actually buying.
To me, The Secret sounds like a load of old bollocks. I'm just not inclined to believe in something where you have to "manifest" wealth to yourself just by tapping into "frequencies" in the universe that will be drawn back to you thereby allowing one to become insanely rich. I think Rhonda Byrne has manifested a bottle of snake oil that people are throwing back with relish, and Oprah has been the perfect shill for this product.
However, if you want to buy it because it sounds interesting to you then who am I to judge. Yet, if you're buying because Oprah says you should, then you need to step back and ask yourself, "Why am I a sheep?"
Right, I'm going to go off and manifest a dump.
[Linky] <<-- Read The Onion's infographic for The Secret.
[Linky] <<-- "Self-help gone nutty", LA Times article by Karin Klein.
McDonald's Don't Use Jizz in Their Shakes ... Probably
McDonald's UK certainly do not shirk from the hard questions when it comes to improving customer relations, even when a question concerns, er, sperm.
Apparently one joker asked:
"Why did your emplyees [sic] ejactulate [again, sic, sorry] into my grandmother's milkshake?"
Ah, a searching question. McDonald's played it back with a straight bat, suggesting that any rumours regarding dodgy carry-ons and spunk in the shakes should be "regarded as urban myths" and that if any employee were actually caught wanking into the shake vat they "would be dismissed."
Well there you go.
[Linky] <<-- The Register has the story.
[Linky] <<-- Time to add this to our Snopes, then.
The Wikipedia Report of Sinbad's Death Is Greatly Exaggerated.
Oh, wiki -- how could you? What did Mr. Sinbad ever do to you? I mean, here is an entertainer who has entertained millions of people -- particularly through perennial Christmas classic Jingle All The Way -- and you have to go and say he died of a heart attack.
[Linky] <<-- Still jingling, thanks wiki. [Y!]
An Eclipse But Not As We Know It
This amazing shot of the moon crossing the sun was taken by STEREO B, a satellite trailing a mere 1.6 million kilometers behind our fair planet.
Brilliant Ratchet & Clank PSP Commerical
This is probably one of the funniest commercials I've seen for some time.
Tuesday, 13 March 2007
Rorschach in the Extended Trailer of 300?
CHUD have a very cool story regarding a possible blink-and-you-miss-it image of Rorschach, a character from Watchmen, in the extended trailer of 300.
This would make sense because Zack Snyder, the director of 300, is scheduled to direct Watchmen next. Here's the image from the extended trailer:
And here's an image of Rorschach from the comic:
Hurm, very interesting indeed.
Someone Snitched on Snoop as Dogg Arrested
How else do you explain Snoop Dogg's arrest in Sweden, huh? It's not as if he has a history of narcotics use, dudes.
Yeah, apparently special agents Bjorn and Bjorn boarded Diddy's tour bus and took a stool sample from Snoop. Okay, I made up the stool sample bit but they did take a body sample that was most likely hair, or a booger or something similar.
According to the report, the use of narcotics or to even have them in your system is illegal in Sweden. Damn, and they almost made it to Amsterdam where that kind of carry-on is always legal, even on a Sunday. I guess the Swedish fuzz just got lucky when they decided to randomly test an innocuous looking American hip hop star who just happened to be touring the country.
That's probably going to be the easiest pay day they've ever had. Too funny.
[Linky] <<-- Stuff.co.nz's got the scoop.
So Long, Stardust. May The Ghost of Wayne Newton Guide You to Elysium
Opened in 1958, imploded in 2007. Such was the life of the legendary Stardust Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas. I neither stayed nor gambled away my meager life savings there, yet I cannot help but feel that a certain part of me imploded with the casino this morning. Either that or the drugs I'm taking to combat this nasty flu are causing me to talk shit.
I imagine that it must have been a happening place back in the day, with various mobsters and movie stars filing through its doors. Who knows how many shady deals went down in the darkest corners of that neon palace, or how many sexual and moral perversions took place behind closed doors, or how many souls were ensnared by the merciless Gamblor, the gaming monster. I hear the buffet was fantastic, though.
According to the always accurate Wikipedia, the hotel had the largest swimming pool in Nevada at the time of opening. Considering Nevada is pretty much desert, that wouldn't have been too hard. Wikipedia also noted that the Stardust was the venue for the signing of the Declaration of Independence, and that Richard Nixon once performed there incognito with his band, the Tricky Dix Trio. Ah, Wikipedia -- is there anything you can't do?
Here's a video from VivaToddVegas, who was there for the implosionfest.
The fireworks were pretty cool, and there was some great free advertising for Walgreens as well.
[Bonus Linky] <<-- Yahoo! has the skinny.
Viacom Challenges Google For The Title of Champion of The Universe!
Or they could just sue Google for One BILLION dollars.
Yep, first Sumner Redstone kicked Tom Cruise out of the Viacom crib, now he's got his 100-year-old eyes set on knocking Google down to size. Well, Google's little video site called YouTube that is.
Hm, this could explain why my embedded excerpts from South Park keep getting deleted, seeing as Comedy Central is owned by Viacom. It all makes sense now.
Right, I'm going to look for more information on this announcement. Hopefully there'll be a CBS News release up on YouTube....
[Linky] <<-- Yahoo! News has the nooz.
Monday, 12 March 2007
Angelina Adopts Again
My Lord, the lady is insatiable! I wonder if Madonna will be moved to counter-adopt, and will this spate of celebrities adopting third world orphans rub off on Britney? After all, now that she's shaved her hair, splashed her snatch, and attacked the paparazzi what else is there for her to do to get attention?
As usual, Gallery of the Absurd have their finger on the crack enhanced hyper-pulse that is celebrity culture:
[Linky] <<-- Picture link from Gallery of the Absurd.
Cricket World Cup 2007
If you're not a fan of cricket you'll probably find this post to be insufferable, so feel free to skip to the next one or snoop around my back catalogue for something you like.
However, if you've decided to stay I'll try to make it unboring. I know, Robin Williams once described cricket as "baseball on valium", but it can be fun to watch, particularly one day cricket. And it's precisely this format that will be the focus for the next six weeks in the West Indies.
A short history. The world cup is played every four years. The first one was in 1975, the most recent one was in 2003. Australia have won it the most times, which is three. The 2007 tournament is probably one of the most open tournaments of any of them, although we won't know for sure until the second round is under way. New Zealand have never won the tournament, although they have made the semis on four occasions. Oh, and the best thing about the world cup is the fantasy cricket competition run by Cricinfo! Yeah, whoo! Sure it cost five pounds to enter, but I think I've got a great team lined up. Check it out:
Team name: Snap!
01 Clarke [AUS]
02 Hussey [AUS]
03 Ponting [AUS]
04 Taylor [NZ]
05 Pietersen [ENG]
06 Flintoff [ENG]
07 Pollock [SAF]
08 McCullum [NZ]
09 Vettori [NZ]
10 Ntini [SAF]
11 Muralitharan [SRI]
That's a fairly decent team and the combined value is $1,000,000, which was the limit for team composition. I decided to go with the five batsmen/two all-rounders/keeper/three bowlers mix, as I felt it gives me the best chance to maximize point scoring.
Plus each of those players are first choices for their respective teams, and baring injury and/or loss of form they're likely to feature in the majority of their team's games leading up to the elimination round.
Yeah, fantasy sport can be a lottery but I figure I have got all of my bases covered, especially when it comes to getting bonus points. It's all about the bonus.
[Linky] <<-- Cricinfo's World Cup site.
A Promotion
Well ladies and gents, I have been promoted. Remember how I was whining about maybe looking for another job because my current job was pissing me off and I had to deal with bitchy customers? Turns out the God of Employment must have been listening because in Her esteemed wisdom She decided to send some promotion pixie dust my way and I am now a department manager. Groovy.
So now if a customer is bitchy to me I'm qualified to be bitchy back to them [in the nicest possible way, of course]. Thus far I've only had to exercise that muscle a few times, mainly over customers coming in with dodgy returns that I've refused to take back.
I have my first solo closing shift later this week, which should be interesting. I heard last night that one of the managers had an encounter with a slightly unhinged woman who was shouting obscenities at other customers and accusing the store of selling pornography which, being a bookstore after all, does.
She also claimed that she was going to sue the store for being a pornographer, before walking out with the offending item in her hand without paying, thereby making her a shoplifter ... as well as being crazier than a box full of slinkys.
South Park Does a Kramer
I missed last week's South Park, but thanks to You Tube I've managed to catch up on the episode, specifically Randy Marsh dropping of the "N" word on Wheel of Fortune.
I Started To Read It But I Never Finished It...
The Guardian has an article about the most frequently unfinished books on Briton's bookshelves, and there are a few surprises in there.
For example -- and one I found odd -- was the appearance of Paulo Coelho's The Alchemist. It's a fantastic book, written in simple prose and has the added bonus of being short for those people out there who don't like to read long books. Why it remains unread is a mystery, although the article does mention that many people might buy books for "intellectual credibility", which seems like a reasonable theory. This would explain why respondents named authors like Rushdie, Joyce, and Dostoyevskey. These writers are literary titans, yet their books don't make for easy reading on the daily commute to work.
Another big surprise for me was The Goblet of Fire, the fourth Harry Potter book. I found that novel to be the best of the HP books that I've read, and despite its heft it was a very quick read. Book five [The Order of the Phoenix] was bloated and self-indulgent, and if any of the HP deserved to be on the list it was that one.
Top Five Fiction.
Vernon God Little, by DBC Pierre. [Bought on the back of the Booker, obviously]
The Goblet of Fire, by JK Rowling. [Huh?]
Ulysses, by James Joyce. [Well, duh]
Captain Corelli's Mandolin, by Louis de Bernieres. [Is that the one with Nic Cage in it?]
Cloud Atlas, by David Mitchell. [Eh?]
Top Five Non-Fiction.
The Blunkett Tapes, by David Blunkett. [Gosh, even the title sounds frickin' boring]
My Life, by Bill Clinton. [A big hit with the ladies, though]
My Side, by David Beckham. [Three chapters devoted to haircuts]
Eats, Shoots & Leaves, by Lynne Truss. [No one likes a Punctuation Nazi]
Wild Swans, by Jung Chang. [Wait, China is a patriarchal society?]
[Linky] <<-- "The Great Unread...", from The Guardian.
In This World Nothing is Certain But Death, Taxes And Expensive Text Books
I had two customers in a row today bitch to me about the expensiveness of the text books they were purchasing. As a former student I was mildly sympathetic to their plight, but when they went on and on and on about it I wanted to tell them to shut the fuck up and grow a pair. Honestly, text books have always been expensive and they always will be. Sure it sucks having to pay anywhere between $70-140 a pop for a book you only need for a semester, but that's the way the cookie crumbles, hombre.
One of the dudes was buying a barber's text book [don't ask] and then tried to sell me this cock and bull story. Apparently someone he knew got the same book for less at another B&N so I should sell it to him for the same price his friend got. My charity had long since departed by then so I replied, "You've got two options: you can keep it, or I can refund your money. But you're not getting it for any price other than what it's listed as."
Being a sensible chap he kept it.
Thursday, 8 March 2007
Hiro Gets His Sword, Claire Meets Gran, Peter Gets His Scar
What a brilliant episode of Heroes, dudes. I thought last weeks episode, Company Man, was great but this one was even better. It sucks somewhat that we have to wait seven weeks until the next episode, but Monday night's cliffhanger left us feeling excited and looking forward to the conclusion.
I'm pleased Hiro finally scored his sword and regained the use of his powers, now we'll get to see him develop into Awesome Ninja Hiro that we saw on the train back in episode four.
Claire finding her gran was one of those leftfield surprises, especially when one considers that Peter and Nathan's mother had appeared as this slightly kooky minor character oblivious to events around her. Now we see that she knows more than most and seems to be part of rival organisation to The Company and the Linderman Group.
Suresh finally figures out that the helpful guy he's been hanging out with for the past couple of weeks is actually Sylar. However, when it looks like Mr. Sylar was about to meet his maker he pulls another escape trick that Peter blunders into. The episode ends with Peter pinned to the wall as Sylar starts cutting into his skull. This is probably where Peter gets the scar future Awesome Ninja Hiro refers to, and is most likely the start of a new hairstyle for the character.
I doubt Peter is going to have his brain eaten by Sylar -- I'm guessing Peter starts tapping into all that latent goodness sitting beneath the surface that Claude has tried to bring out, and starts getting medieval on Sylar's ass. Providing Peter can reuse the powers that he absorbs from people, he's potentially the most powerful character in Heroes.
Seven Weeks!
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