Yeah, it's a month late but me and the blog haven't been seeing eye-to-eye of late, so there.
How was your Christmas? Was it everything you hoped it would be and more? Ours was pretty cool, we ate a lot of food and drank a lot of happy juice and generally enjoyed ourselves. Pity I had to go to work the next day [America is the land without Boxing Day, so no comfort cushion that is time and a half, either] but that's the way the cookie crumbles.
Anyway, most people eat and drink on Christmas [unless you're one of those people who don't observe Christmas, of course] so let's cut to the fuckin' chase and talk about presents!
Christmas is about family, friends, community, and the exchanging of gifts. From the depths of my ignorant understanding, the tradition of gift-giving owes its origin to the Christian Times when the three wise men, Groucho, Sneezy and Billy Bob bestowed to baby Jesus the gifts of gold, frankincense, and a Nintendo Wii. Jesus loved the gold, gave the frankincense to his Mummy, but positively flipped for the Wii, dude. However, that is another story.
So what did I give this year to my wife? Some cool shit, actually. I got her this foot spa from Target, as she's been having sore footsies lately and what woman wouldn't like to soak their feet in gently bubbling water? Score, great gift. I also bought her two bath sets, one from Origins and the other from Bath and Body Works. Throw in a Rachael Ray mag subscription, books, posters, DVDs and other groovy stuff and it was nice to watch her enjoy opening each gift.
They say it's always better to give than receive, and in most cases that is very true. But receiving can be nice every so often, and I got the King of all cool gifts: an iPod Nano. This bad boy is coloured blue and came engraved with a personal message. It's basically been a constant companion for the last month. Score! She also bought me a sexy bottle of cologne and a wicked Charles Vess graphic novel as well as a Best Buy voucher that I'm going to put toward the eventual purchase of Wii. Oh, and I got some chocolates that I ate a little too quickly, d'oh!
So there we have it, the Christmas post four weeks after Christmas.
Wednesday, 24 January 2007
I'm Losing Patience With Surly Customers
I used to be a genial chap at work. The kind of person who would bend over backwards to help my customers and one who would smile when a customer was rude to him. What, a bookstore has rude customers? I'm sad to say we encounter several on a daily basis and the frequency is rising.
Ten months ago, when I was a noob with "fresh meat" branded onto my virgin ass, I was the epitome of genial. However, in the past two months at Barnes & Noble my tolerance of surly customers has all but evaporated and I've found myself firing off brusque remarks with alarming regularity. The worrying thing is that I seem to have unearthed a hitherto undiscovered talent for being a bastard to customers.
Personality snapshot: I'm not confrontational. I will shy away from anything in public that is even remotely confrontational. People usually describe this personality type as meek, and I'd probably agree with them as in the past my arse has been rogered [figuratively] several times by predators who prey on meekness.
However, working at Barnes & Noble has cured me of my meekness in ways that I would never have imagined.
For example, last Tuesday [by accident or design] I found myself the only bookseller on the floor. This happened at 12 noon, and for a period of 10 minutes it was just me on the walls of the Alamo facing off against a seething horde of Mehicans. In other words, it was a calamity.
This wouldn't have been a problem if it was, say, around 10 am. We only get bums, retirees and homemakers around that time, and they trickle in. However, noon is a busy period and I was not surprised to find myself with seven people in line at the register; five people at the info desk; and three lines of phone callers waiting to be answered. You can tell where this is going.
Richard steps back from his register and fixes her with a glare that would melt a glacier.
On paper it doesn't read as being that brusque. Yet I think the combination of the look on my face and the delivery [not to forget the finger twirl for emphasis as I said "the entire store"] stopped her in her tracks.
To be fair, she couldn't have known that I was the only dude on the floor. However, she didn't help herself with the manner of her approach, either. And therein lies the issue, as we are treated with contempt by customers on a regular basis so our responses are becoming the opposite of customer friendly.
Now in retail you expect to receive a little stick from people, that's the nature of the beast. But when the stick mutates into a barbed, poisoned prodding thing you have to step back and decide (a) do I continue to accept this treatment and label it as an "occupational hazard?"; (b) do I return fire on the customer?; or (c) should I start looking for a new job?
I used to be an (a) kinda guy, but right now I find myself in teams (b) and (c). The side-effect of returning fire on the customer means I run the risk of becoming like that to all customers, and that isn't fair as we do get some wonderful people in the store and the last thing I'd want to become is that which I loathe.
Decisions decisions.
Ten months ago, when I was a noob with "fresh meat" branded onto my virgin ass, I was the epitome of genial. However, in the past two months at Barnes & Noble my tolerance of surly customers has all but evaporated and I've found myself firing off brusque remarks with alarming regularity. The worrying thing is that I seem to have unearthed a hitherto undiscovered talent for being a bastard to customers.
Personality snapshot: I'm not confrontational. I will shy away from anything in public that is even remotely confrontational. People usually describe this personality type as meek, and I'd probably agree with them as in the past my arse has been rogered [figuratively] several times by predators who prey on meekness.
However, working at Barnes & Noble has cured me of my meekness in ways that I would never have imagined.
For example, last Tuesday [by accident or design] I found myself the only bookseller on the floor. This happened at 12 noon, and for a period of 10 minutes it was just me on the walls of the Alamo facing off against a seething horde of Mehicans. In other words, it was a calamity.
This wouldn't have been a problem if it was, say, around 10 am. We only get bums, retirees and homemakers around that time, and they trickle in. However, noon is a busy period and I was not surprised to find myself with seven people in line at the register; five people at the info desk; and three lines of phone callers waiting to be answered. You can tell where this is going.
Scene.
Richard is working a register like a good little McJob employee should in this situation, hard and fast. Customers are murmuring amongst themselves, "Why's the other register not open?", "It's never like this down at Borders", "Warble-warble-warble."
All of a sudden he hears a whiny voice that could only belong to an old person. He looks up from his drawer of Abes, Georges, and one wrinkly Hamilton and spots the Ancient striding toward him, the bellows of her lungs expanding to their maximum capacity and poised to spew out her complaints.
All of a sudden he hears a whiny voice that could only belong to an old person. He looks up from his drawer of Abes, Georges, and one wrinkly Hamilton and spots the Ancient striding toward him, the bellows of her lungs expanding to their maximum capacity and poised to spew out her complaints.
Ancient.
"Who's at info!? I've been standing there for five minutes and there's been no one there who can help me! Why don't you call someone to come and help me!"
Richard steps back from his register and fixes her with a glare that would melt a glacier.
Richard.
"Here's a heads up for you: I'm the only bookseller in the entire store right now, and as you can see I have plenty of things to do. Have some patience."
On paper it doesn't read as being that brusque. Yet I think the combination of the look on my face and the delivery [not to forget the finger twirl for emphasis as I said "the entire store"] stopped her in her tracks.
To be fair, she couldn't have known that I was the only dude on the floor. However, she didn't help herself with the manner of her approach, either. And therein lies the issue, as we are treated with contempt by customers on a regular basis so our responses are becoming the opposite of customer friendly.
Now in retail you expect to receive a little stick from people, that's the nature of the beast. But when the stick mutates into a barbed, poisoned prodding thing you have to step back and decide (a) do I continue to accept this treatment and label it as an "occupational hazard?"; (b) do I return fire on the customer?; or (c) should I start looking for a new job?
I used to be an (a) kinda guy, but right now I find myself in teams (b) and (c). The side-effect of returning fire on the customer means I run the risk of becoming like that to all customers, and that isn't fair as we do get some wonderful people in the store and the last thing I'd want to become is that which I loathe.
Decisions decisions.
They Came From My Nano
Here is a list [no! not the dreaded list!] of ten songs that I think are very ... cool.
You probably-might disagree with my bestowal of the all-too-freely used cool label onto these songs, but that's life.
I Can't Decide -- Scissor Sisters
The Crane Wife 3 -- The Decemberists
Wolf Like Me -- TV On The Radio
Herculean -- The Good, The Bad and The Queen
The End is The Beginning is The End -- Smashing Pumpkins
I'll Be Your Mirror -- The Velvet Underground & Nico
White Room -- Cream
You Know I'm No Good -- Amy Winehouse
Hang Me Up to Dry -- Cold War Kids
Dark Side -- Polly Paulusma
Bohemian Like You -- The Dandy Warhols.
I lied; it's actually a list of 11 songs. Freaky.
You probably-might disagree with my bestowal of the all-too-freely used cool label onto these songs, but that's life.
I Can't Decide -- Scissor Sisters
The Crane Wife 3 -- The Decemberists
Wolf Like Me -- TV On The Radio
Herculean -- The Good, The Bad and The Queen
The End is The Beginning is The End -- Smashing Pumpkins
I'll Be Your Mirror -- The Velvet Underground & Nico
White Room -- Cream
You Know I'm No Good -- Amy Winehouse
Hang Me Up to Dry -- Cold War Kids
Dark Side -- Polly Paulusma
Bohemian Like You -- The Dandy Warhols.
I lied; it's actually a list of 11 songs. Freaky.
Whoo! Early Birthday Present
I'm going to be 29 soon. I'm not that fussed about birthdays in general [even less so with this one as it heralds the final year of my twenties] but getting an early present is pretty cool.
Yes indeedy folks, my groovy wife presented me with Futurama Vol 3 tonight and I am as happy as a drunkard in a brewery.
Highlights of Futurama's third season include:
Amazon Women in the Mood ["Death! By snu-snu!"];
The Day the Earth Stood Stupid ["Nibblonians to Nibble stations. Prepare cuddle bug for deployment in 40 nibblets."];
Parasites Lost ["Gumbercules? I love that guy!"].
And many more.
It's a shame that Fox decided to cancel Futurama, especially when one could argue that it was of a better standard than The Simpsons at the time of its cancellation. Indeed, you could even say that The Simpsons has been steadily declining in quality since its 10th season, imo.
Anyway, everyone should receive the gift of Futurama on their birthday, and I'll be looking forward to seeing the new episodes next year on Comedy Central.
Yes indeedy folks, my groovy wife presented me with Futurama Vol 3 tonight and I am as happy as a drunkard in a brewery.
Highlights of Futurama's third season include:
Amazon Women in the Mood ["Death! By snu-snu!"];
The Day the Earth Stood Stupid ["Nibblonians to Nibble stations. Prepare cuddle bug for deployment in 40 nibblets."];
Parasites Lost ["Gumbercules? I love that guy!"].
And many more.
It's a shame that Fox decided to cancel Futurama, especially when one could argue that it was of a better standard than The Simpsons at the time of its cancellation. Indeed, you could even say that The Simpsons has been steadily declining in quality since its 10th season, imo.
Anyway, everyone should receive the gift of Futurama on their birthday, and I'll be looking forward to seeing the new episodes next year on Comedy Central.
Congratulations!
To my good homie Paul Babbage who got married to the awesome Eloise last weekend at the Mission Estate Winery in the sunny Hawke's Bay.
According to my pal Moose [who was representing like only he can] the wedding was "fucking excellent", and I'm sure there were plenty of empty wine bottles the next morning. ;-)
According to my pal Moose [who was representing like only he can] the wedding was "fucking excellent", and I'm sure there were plenty of empty wine bottles the next morning. ;-)
Sunday, 21 January 2007
"I hate your Granny." Lady Sovereign Battles Jelly Donut ... or Not.
I'm not sure what the beef between British rapper Lady Sovereign and Jelly Donut is exactly [I'm not sure that I care, either] but one thing is certain: a rapper should never be afraid to battle a dude dressed as a donut.
One Month Without a Post
Wow, time really does fly. I'd like to say that I've spent the past month on my annual holiday kicking my feet up on the beach, drinking copious amounts of alcohol, shopping at the trendy boutiques and sampling the finest cuisine one can buy on an $8.00/hour wage.
However, I'm afraid the above should be filed in the filing cabinet that I've labeled Xtreme Fantasies!
The sad reality is that, after being graciously allowed Christmas Day off, I've been whoring myself at Barnes & Noble.
Go Team Whoring, yeah!
However, I'm afraid the above should be filed in the filing cabinet that I've labeled Xtreme Fantasies!
The sad reality is that, after being graciously allowed Christmas Day off, I've been whoring myself at Barnes & Noble.
Go Team Whoring, yeah!
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